seasaltkeys | Entries tagged with dealing with emotions

Namine went home.

[That's all that needs to be said really. Roxas doesn't want to believe it but that's the reality. They'd been travelling together, and they were going to explore Kanto together like they did Johto, and now. Now he's on his own again.

It's weird.

He hasn't felt like this in a long time, doesn't really know what to do with the emotions setting in on him.

It hurts. And he misses her.]

[Today's video starts with a Pikachu.

The gear was left on the bed and so clearly, that meant it was time for the Sparky show! So, have Sparky the Pikachu waving at you. And making a few faces. Because that's clearly what the gear is for. However, Sparky soon grows bored of making faces and carries the gear over to the window.

Shakey camera will eventually reveal Roxas sitting at a desk, writing. It's hard to see what because with the way Sparky's dragging the gear, the image is all weird. Eventually, however, it evens out. Parts of the writing can be seen, but not a lot.]

{You.

I don't really know what to call you. I've really just known you as the guy in red, so we'll go with that.

I don't know why I'm writing to you, but I guess there's some things that need to be said, and since you're not here, I'll have to say them somewhere.

Two years ago, you trapped me in a digital world, made me think I had a life, friends, and that I was normal. You took me away from the life I had, gave me another one, and then tried to take both of them away. Because I wasn't supposed to exist. Because I wasn't light, I was darkness, and I belonged with Sora.

Well, your plan failed and I ended up in Johto. And what you said still stuck with me. That I wasn't supposed to be there, that I didn't matter.

But I've learned some things since then. I've learned that I do matter, that I do deserve to exist. I've made friends, I've got a goal, and that I'm just as much a person as anyone else, heart, or no heart. And one of those friends is Sora, and he agrees with me. I've got a life again, and this time, no one can take it away from me.

So I guess that's what I wanted to say. That I'm here, I'm existing, and I damn well deserve to. And if someday I do end up leaving Johto and going home, what happens then will be on my terms. Not yours. But I don't plan on coming back any time soon.}

[Roxas stops writing, and the gear shifts to show a shiny Rising Badge, a picture of a smiling Roxas and his team, and one more sentence]

{It's been 713 days. I'm still here.}

[ooc: Responses will probably come shortly after this, once Roxas realizes Sparky was recording. How much of the letter is seen can depend on your character. Thanks for 2 years everyone :D]

[Christmas is one of those weird holidays for Roxas. He just sort of goes through the motions rather than actually getting anything meaningful from the season (though he may one year. If someone can explain to him what Christmas is all about). Last Christmas was actually pretty nice, when he thinks about it. This Christmas...this year he's a little bit...well, he's back to being melancholy]

[The video feed shows Roxas looking kind of morosely out a window. There's a pile of presents, that he hasn't opened yet because he got stuck on the first one, beside him on his bed. But his focus is on a simple popsicle stick, with the word "Winner" on it. Roxas's memories are still fuzzy but this one sticks out. It's making him think of a lot of things. Of Axel, mostly, but also of the fact that he can't remember Xion (at least, in terms of the past), of his friends, virtual as they were, from Twilight Town, of friends that were in Johto but aren't anymore.]

Why is this here?

[It's been a rough couple of days for Roxas. Between fighting Shedinja to exhaustion and finding out Sora was gone, he hasn't been feeling the greatest. But at least Xion's awake so he doesn't really have that to worry about anymore. Not knowing what else to do, Roxas decided to get a job, and there was one on a boat so he took it, assuming it was an extension of a pokemart job. So, he loaded a bunch of boxes on to a boat and they said he'd get supper, so that's where he was when he fell asleep. The job was just supposed to be a way to keep busy, to prevent himself from thinking about everything that happened, so he didn't really pay attention to the fact that he was on the Cianwood Ferry.

Yeah.

If you knew he was in Olivine, Roxas has been missing for about a day now. The transmission comes when he's woken up and realized what happened. It's meant to be filtered to Namine and Xion, but he failed at that. He does sound rather sheepish when he speaks.]

Uh...I'm on my way to Cianwood City. I got a job on a boat, but I didn't know it was the ferry.

I'm alright, but I guess I can't really get back to Olivine right now. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Sorry.

[Even though he feels bad he can't really contain the wonder on his face as he looks out at the ocean. He's never really seen anything like it, that he can remember, so he's pretty amazed.]

[More specifically filtered from Sora, Kairi, Riku, Ven, Terra, Aqua, Lea, and Isa. Everyone else is fair game]

[The feed clicks on. It's in a room, and upon closer inspection, a room in the Goldenrod inn. You might be able to see part of Roxas's arm, but for the most part, the feed is focused on Axel the Growlithe and Xion the newly hatched Shinx playing tug of war. Not intentionally though. Roxas is planning on saying something. He just has to find the words.]

Um...[pause]

How...[longer pause. This is bugging him. He's been thinking about this question a lot and finally gotten to a point where he feels he can do something about it but still. It's hard. He's kind of afraid to ask. It has to deal with emotions and thoughts and things that he doesn't really understand. He's trying to hold back his anger, since he knows what happens when he gets angry and it hasn't worked well for him. He's trying something different, for what it's worth]

[and finally, in text]

If you're jealous of someone, how do you stop?

[ooc: Using my dad's laptop to get to some tags/get one last entry up before school starts. That being said, still technically computer-less, so tags may be wonky for a spell or threads'll be stalled. Thanks in advance for your patience.]

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Roxas [Cause I need freedom now]

And I need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be

Entries tagged with dealing with emotions

Day 45 [Text]

Day 42 [video/sorta text]

Day 39 [video]

Day 32 [Video]

Day 31 Part 2. [Audio/Action]

Day 23 - [video; filtered from most of the KH cast]

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September 2023

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