seasaltkeys | Day 23 - [video; filtered from most of the KH cast]

[More specifically filtered from Sora, Kairi, Riku, Ven, Terra, Aqua, Lea, and Isa. Everyone else is fair game]

[The feed clicks on. It's in a room, and upon closer inspection, a room in the Goldenrod inn. You might be able to see part of Roxas's arm, but for the most part, the feed is focused on Axel the Growlithe and Xion the newly hatched Shinx playing tug of war. Not intentionally though. Roxas is planning on saying something. He just has to find the words.]

Um...[pause]

How...[longer pause. This is bugging him. He's been thinking about this question a lot and finally gotten to a point where he feels he can do something about it but still. It's hard. He's kind of afraid to ask. It has to deal with emotions and thoughts and things that he doesn't really understand. He's trying to hold back his anger, since he knows what happens when he gets angry and it hasn't worked well for him. He's trying something different, for what it's worth]

[and finally, in text]

If you're jealous of someone, how do you stop?

[ooc: Using my dad's laptop to get to some tags/get one last entry up before school starts. That being said, still technically computer-less, so tags may be wonky for a spell or threads'll be stalled. Thanks in advance for your patience.]

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...it feels like it's getting worse every time I think about it.

What are you jealous about?

... is it Ven? And Sora?

Yeah. It's both of them.

... what about them, exactly?

[As a fellow Nobody, she knows she can't lecture either, but she wants to help him out as much as she can.]

...I feel like I don't measure up. They have all their friends here, and can make friends easily. Ven's a lot nicer then me, and I feel that when people meet him, and then me, I won't measure up.

They're important to a lot of people. I'm not.

You have friends here too, don't you? I know Sora and Ven are worried about you. You're important to people, Roxas. I know you miss yours, like Axel. I miss him too. But that doesn't mean you can't make friends too, right?

I know you were the one who wanted to travel alone so...

[... you know what, screw this. She's going to Goldenrod.]

I have made friends, yeah. But, I still miss him. There's a lot of things I want to say and I want to show him this world and, and I can't. Because he has no idea what happened.

[She switches to video to look at him properly.]

I'm sorry, Roxas. I know you must miss him a lot. But... we can't do anything about it... I miss him too. Lea's there, but it's not the same.

... but... how about starting new memories instead? I know he wants to be friends with you too, and you can live here in Johto free of regrets until he finally gets here. Then... you can tell him everything.

I. I'll try. It's not that I don't like Lea, but when I look at him, I see Axel. Or Axel traits anyway.

I'll try.

I know. I know, Roxas.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

How did...you know Axel?

it's alright. I have to figure this out for myself

Like I said before, he was at Castle Oblivion. He was the one who gave me the idea to escape.

[Then he tried to kill Marly and used I was used a human shield BUT ANYWAY.]

After you were in the simulated Twilight Town, he kept trying to get you to return, right? We'd meet once or twice. After you merged, we ended up traveling together.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, he did. That what I want to talk to him about.

[He nods. He wishes he could have been there]

It's alright.

... which part?

Pretty much everything that happened in Twilight Town.

... okay.

... are you going to be alright?

I think so. Talking...helped.

Do you think I should talk to Ven or Sora about this?

Mm. It's.... good if they know. I think it will help more.

[There's a pause.]

... and Roxas?

I guess I'll have to find the right time.

Yeah?

Why not soon?

... you're not the only one who's jealous.

I don't want to make a mistake. Plus I don't think they're back yet.

[He's not sure what to say to that. Just glad that someone else understands]

To be honest, I'm actually even jealous of you being jealous of other people's friends being here. Because that means you have friends from home. You at least have one person who you can call your best friend.

I existed in a blank world and was meant to be used as a tool. I never had any friends. I have friends here, yes, but...

... once I go back to our world, I'll be alone again.

[Pause, Roxas is looking down at the floor now. And the Sora side of him is about to make an appearance]

No one's said we have to go back. At least, I don't plan to.

But is it really our choice? I was sent home twice now. Each time, I keep forgetting my time here.

Maybe it isn't, but I don't think that that should stop anyone from trying to stay.

At least, I don't want you to go back. Especially if it means you're alone.