[Empathieas] Message Box

[seasaltkeys]

Now it seems strange
How we used to wait for letters to arrive
But what's stranger still
Is how something so small can keep you alive


Message Box for Roxas
If you need to get a hold of him.

Comments

[oathkeeper]

[Knowing Roxas... He doesn't believe those mumbled words. He's always keeping things to himself even if it's something that really shouldn't be...]

Do you wanna talk about it...?

[seasaltkeys]

[He probably should but...]

What's there to talk about? He...he went home and it sucks.

[oathkeeper]

There's plenty to talk about. I know how it feels, Roxas.

[After all, this is the same as when Riku went home.]

Sometimes it helps to talk out loud about what you're feeling, you know? To sort it all out.

[seasaltkeys]

it's already sorted out! I'm sad and angry and I already know the universe is out to get me.

I just need to get through this.

[He's done it before.]

[oathkeeper]

...

Well, if it's out to get you then it's out to get me too. You're not the only one going through these things, Roxas.

[A rare upset and angry tone from Sora, his voice getting sharp.]

I don't understand why you want to do these things alone when I've been here the whole time too.

[Riku, Kairi, Leon... Isn't Sora the one who should know what Roxas is going through the most? He's so tired.]

[seasaltkeys]

[Part of that seems to sink in and Roxas doesn't respond for a while. He has this idea of Sora as the hero, the one who's always okay and surrounded by friends that it's easy to forget that he's a human being to, with all that that encompasses. It's hard to reconcile those ideas.

There's also the fact that Roxas is just stubborn.]

It's just...safer if I'm alone. I don't trust what's going to happen.

[oathkeeper]

[There's a crackle of static over the transmission.

He wishes Roxas would try to trust him. At least open up to him even for a fraction of a second. They're supposed have the same heart (or share a heart?) but sometimes Sora feels they're so far apart that it somehow can't be possible.

He wants to reach out to Roxas so badly, because he's screamed and cried about all of this too and yet...]

Dealing with it alone just makes it hurt more in the end...

[Because it's been hurting Sora.]

[seasaltkeys]

It also makes sure I don't hurt anyone if I explode.

[Because he's lost control before, he's seen the destructive power he's capable of and he doesn't want to do that ever again. Especially in the city limits where someone might get hurt. And even if the crystal's back, he's still wary. He doesn't trust himself in these times, much less anyone else.]

[oathkeeper]

You know what, maybe you just need to let that happen. Let it all out. What's locking it up gonna do?

[He's not afraid of Roxas exploding because letting it stay all locked up inside will just make it worse.]

[seasaltkeys]

[Roxas is afraid of Roxas exploding because he's seen what it's done before. He knows what he's capable of and it scares him. He's trying to feel things more effectively so that that doesn't happen.]

Not hurt anyone or anything.

I don't like the feeling of losing control.

[And he's trying to ignore that the ground around him is starting to heat up.]

[oathkeeper]

[Sora's quiet for a second as he tries to think of how to answer.]

How are you going to learn how not to lose control if you don't try?

[It's like the time Sora was stuck in antiform. He had lost control, but because of it he had learned how to control it in a round about way. And he thinks Roxas can do it too. Learn to control whatever it is that makes Roxas feel this way.]

You're stronger than you think you are, Roxas. You are.

[seasaltkeys]

I'll figure something out once I get through this.

[He'll learn dunamis or something. He doesn't know. He's just scared and doesn't want to hurt anyone while he's like this.

Why do emotions have to be so complicated and explosive?]

I don't know...

[oathkeeper]

[Sora feels frustrated again, the feelings flickering over the connection like static electricity.

He's heard Roxas say these things before when Elize went home. It feels like Roxas is going in circles over and over and he's still not wanting to ask anyone for proper help. Sora doesn't know what else he can do.]

I just want to help you.

[seasaltkeys]

[He's existed for three years longer than he should have. He feels he should have answers by now, and he has ideas of how to fix it. He just need to work up the courage to ask someone to teach him dunamis. And he doesn't know who he can reach out to with stuff like this, who can share the burden. Because the people he would ask are gone.

And while it's probably counter-intuitive, he doesn't like showing weakness in front of Sora.]

Why?

[oathkeeper]

Because I'm still here with you. I'm your friend.

[What that means to Roxas, he's not sure. But to Sora that so much is clear. He wants to help Roxas, they've been through a lot together in the last year and a half and even if Roxas still hasn't opened up to Sora...]

You're stuck with me, and I know you don't like that, but I just want to see you happy instead of lost like this.

I apologize for this grammer

[seasaltkeys]

[There's a concentrated silence as Roxas attempts to sort out his words, wanting to make sure that the ones he says are the right ones. It's not that he's especially bad with words, but that the gets tongue tied and that can lead to the wrong idea getting across.]

I...it's not that. I don't don't mind being stuck with you.

It, it's just...I...it's just I don't know if you realize how intimidating you can be.

[oathkeeper]

[Intimidating? That's a new word for Sora to be called... He feels puzzled.]

What- Do you mean?

[seasaltkeys]

[How does he even explain?]

You're really...bright. And just...it's easy to get along with you. Like super easy.

it's kind of scary in a way.

[For Roxas, anyway.]

[oathkeeper]

[Sorry- He has to snort just a little with some confused nervous laughter.]

Ah- Come on, Roxas... How is that scary? Is that a bad thing?

[seasaltkeys]

It's not...it's just.

I don't know how to match it.

[oathkeeper]

[Roxas is intimidated by Sora's brightness because he can't match it...?]

Roxas, you don't need to match it. You're you and I'm me, we're different people.

[As much as things would say otherwise, Roxas having come from a part of Sora's heart... He truthfully believes they're different people. He said it so much to Roxas during his Mastery Exams.]

[seasaltkeys]

[It's unfortunate that Roxas is not from that canon point. He's always anted to believe that when Sora says it, but there's always been something of a block. That niggling sense that he can't let go of. That voice that doesn't let him forget that he's Sora's nobody.]

It's easy for you to say that.

[oathkeeper]

Because it's true, dummy.

[He huffs softly. He's really not sure how else to make Roxas feel better about it, though. Besides continuing to try and be his friend and not someone Roxas has to compare himself to.]

[seasaltkeys]

You're not getting it.

It's easy for you to say that because you get to be a person, Sora! I get to be one here, but, if I suddenly went back...I'd go back to being you. And even though you say you want me to be my own person, who's to say that's even possible. And if it is, what happens to you? There's a bigger picture here!

as much as I hate it

[oathkeeper]

It doesn't matter what happens to me, if we go back you might have come back to my heart for a little while but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying to figure out how to make you you're own person!

I'm gonna find a way, and I'm not gonna give up, why can't you trust me about that?

[He's not ever going to give up.]