http://tracing.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] tracing.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] seasaltkeys 2009-03-13 05:11 am (UTC)

OKAY xD Sorry to keep buging you but I did find an example that may help my terrible crit.

"Fifteen, and I'm a lot stronger than I look. I'm the Champion of the Struggle Tournament," he boasted. That probably didn't mean anything to her, but it did to him. He'd even beat Setzer.

Like there, you could've put and exclamation more instead of a comma? It just gives off more personality you know?
:D
<33
OKAY YEAH I'M DONE. xD

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